it's like the eye of a duck

Kinda, but not really.

Given my recent abundance of free time, I've been trying to make the best of it. My usual schedule is to wake up 1/2 hour early in order to write; given that I've had a whole day in which to write for the past ~week, I've been using that half hour to go for a short run in the park.

I hesitate to call it proper running. It's more of a very slow jog, with a break halfway (my endurance is CRAP), and it's not even a mile, I'd be surprised if it's even a half mile. And it's not something I plan to continue once work starts back up because I know I simply Won't. Have. Time.

But I'm finding it's a spectacular way to start out the day.

As usual I hate the "getting there" - I hit the snooze button hold my nose as I suit up in smelly sweats, but I really like how I feel once I've done those fifteen minutes: my mind is just so CLEAR! And getting a good sweat going wakes me up, kind of like my beloved-but-forsaken first cup of coffee (except minus the shakes and teeth-grinding anxiety).

Growing up, my family (and I along with them) would always laugh a bit at the "jog jog joggers" we saw on the road. Not sure quite why; perhaps it was because so many of them looked tired and pained, like running was a drudgery to get through because jogging was the expected thing to do if you wanted to stay fit in the pre-crossfit, pre-health club on every corner era. A quarter of jogging class because I needed a last-minute phys ed credit in college also didn't do much to change my mind either. I can't even say what possessed me to try this out last week.

But. I get it now. Even if it's something I can't do in my regular life, at least it's a way to get the blood pumping that's simpler than suiting up in three layers of canvas and hauling myself/my gear to fencing club. Something to think of when I travel and CAN'T fence.

Been meaning to update, just... hadn't. So:

Last weekend dustdaughter and I went to Revealing the African Presence in Renaissance Europe, an exhibit up in B.more. I mostly went for lots of 16th century portraiture that I'd never seen, but as ever with history that's new to me the larger story was interesting too - how could it be possible that, for example, a Congolese delegation visited Elizabeth I's court, or Ethiopian priests studied in Rome, and I'd never read about it before? Recommended.

Also went through a round of veterinary visits with both cats. Kisia was diagnosed with high blood pressure, which explains why her pupils have been dilated for the past 2 months. We caught it before it could impair her sight and she's on medicine, which she doesn't like but has made a huge difference in her eyes and her friendliness in just a week.

Yesterday I competed at a moderately scary local fencing competition, and against all odds kept my head on and got to do 2 direct elimination bouts! I finished in the middle of the pack, and am pleased that I stayed loose and smart. Next weekend, doG help me, I'm in a regional Very Scary event, in which I'm sure to get slaughtered but I figure it's a good "managing the anxiety" exercise.

The library is coming along. The books are all on shelves, now it's just getting them on the right ones. And D. set our first fire last weekend :)

Sewing was/is on hold as I discovered that silk charmeuse facings just aren't stable enough on their own. I got some Touch o' Gold lightweight fusible interfacing, and will give it a go this week. Hopefully I can still do the rolled hem finish.

Still jumping rope 4 days a week, plus some weight exercises for fencing. I think I may have lost a bit of weight.

And after typing all this I'm suddenly very tired...

Per your question I wanted to ask you about the stretching for fencing you talked about in your New Year's resolutions-what kinds of things are you doing? and posted public if anyone else cares to know:

( cut because I care )

Hope this is helpful.

It's not just for software development anymore :/ My lunge is either:

• Good: stable, with no leaning or overextension
  
• Fast: sudden and explosive to surprise both my opponent and myself
  or
  
• Cheap: economy of motion and effort that leaves me ready for further action if needed
  

Turns out I CAN have the first two, but always pay: sometimes immediately, as after a couple of good lunges I'm left wheezing like Darth Vader with a bad air filter, or later, when my back and/or feet go "ping".

V. says I need to practice lunge-recover-retreat off the strip to the point that it becomes automatic. He is not wrong, but MAN, it is gonna hurt! Think I may try this at home, on film, to make sure at least my form is good before I go back under the watchful Eye of Sauron (i.e. lecturing coach).

It's disheartening that I've been fencing this long and am still so bad at such a basic move. On the other, damn, look how far I've come already(!)

I'm almost 3 months into 2011 and I'm at least partly on track:

• Eating more fruit: we got a blender and I've been having a fruit smoothie for breakfast at least twice a week. So far I prefer blueberry and strawberry, but as most of the flavor comes from vanilla whey powder (lactose free!), I think I could eat almost any fruit blended regardless of whether I enjoy the whole version.
  
  Also still eating apples at least twice a week, or if I'm craving something salty, nuts. I'm successfully avoiding the snack machine :)
  
  I'm aware that these are far below the recommended daily allowance, but I figure "some" is better than my previous "none".
  
  
• Trying new things: in the past 6 months I've been 3 places I've never been before (Las Vegas, Gatlinburg, Detroit) and at least partially rolled with it instead of letting the "out of my cave" feeling scrape on me. Tried a new spa this weekend (ahhhhhhhhhhh), tried some new recipes. These are small things but I think they count. What other new things should I try?
  
  
• Meditate more: er.....not so much :( Counting my breaths while trying to fall asleep doesn't exactly count; neither does focusing on the target while fencing because I'm still thinking. I'm still trying to wrap my head around scheduling time to do nothing.
  

I am at least doing fewer things. I finally realized the reason I couldn't get organized was because I had too much on my plate - or rather, D. pointed out that I was so busy I was never home, and usually harried when I was. Much as it chafes, I simply don't have time for SCA/historical "unpractice" anymore.

It was hard to drop because I was afraid of disappointing others, reluctant to give up something so interesting, and unwilling to admit that I was trying to do too much, but it was slicing both my week and Wednesday nights so perfectly in half that I felt like most of my time spent at home was either getting ready to go back out or getting ready for bed after coming in. I'll still fence rapier at events (and with more at home time I might feel more inspired to get out and about on weekends), but just can't do a regular practice right now.

I am doing cardio crosstraining at home - it's repetitive, makes me gulp for air and sweat even without wearing 10 pounds of cotton canvas. But I gotta if I want to outlast those freakishly fit young things on the other side of the strip.

Sundays at fencing club have been intimidating of late.

This is because a group of the Big Scary People - high-rated fencers who move like greased lightning and are six moves ahead of things Ordinary Mortals (meaning me) haven't even thought of yet - have been coming for the past few weeks. There are about 4-6 of them and they show up early, and if I'm there before noon it's either grit my teeth and cycle in or repetitive footwork/target practice until other Mortals show up.

The Big Scary People (BSP) aren't scary socially - as near as I can tell they are all friendly chaps and don't have superiority complexes over their considerable abilities. When I get the nerve to approach they don't refuse to fence with me, even though I don't pose much of a challenge.

It's just that my lizard brain still remembers humiliating high school phys ed, in which "natural athletes" bullied or simply bulldozed over apathetic bookworms like me. The teachers/coaches didn't seem to notice, or if they did, they didn't mind, which in retrospect makes sense, I suppose - what teacher wouldn't rather teach kids who are clearly enthusiastic about and good at the subject matter? The administration was another matter - school athletes got a pass for some of their less savory behavior, perhaps because team sports brought in money, and they were perceived as team players in a way that solitary bookworms were not :P

I need to remember that we are not children at club and I'm not just a bookworm anymore. I did cycle in yesterday and took my knocks and delivered a precious few of my own. There are still a couple who I think we'd be wasting each others time (I'd be little better than a moving target to them, and I can't even see what they're doing), but one of the ways I can improve is to play with the big kids.

I wasn't necessarily planning to ski when we went up to Gatlinburg.

I wasn't necessarily not planning to either. I knew it was on the itinerary and in the spirit of "fortune favoring the prepared" I packed a ski bib I got somewhere, who knows when ago, just in case. So when my sister-in-law suggested visiting the ski resort for the nieces first lesson, I figured, well, DID pack this huge fluffy thing and I've gone without real exercise for too many days...

...and by the time we drove up the hill and got through the lines, I was committed, lemme tell you! Evidently the holiday season + snow = one of the ~5 busiest days of the year for ski resorts (who knew? Skiers, of which I am not one) and it took 2 hours to rent all of our equipment, suit up, and get to the training slope.

An hour of instruction was required for beginners, and I'm grateful for it - my only other skiing experience as a child didn't, and I remember mostly lying in the snow, freezing. In that hour I learned how to put on/take off the skis and how to turn and slow myself down. I managed one or two times down the very flat slope and I kind of get the appeal - the slow build of speed and focused trajectory. The nieces picked it up even faster, and though each fell once, that was about it.

I fell quite a lot, but most of it was on purpose. I got the theory but not the practice of slowing down and the "bunny slope" was so packed with people who wouldn't get out of the way that I wiped out multiple times to avoid collisions. SIL had gone down the slope for real skiers while we were in training, and suggested another beginner's slope that was less crowded.

It was NOT a beginner's slope after all, but none of us realized that until we'd accelerated way past our comfort levels and tumbled to the bottom. The catch holding the skis to my boots were HARD to get off and wore out my arms far more than my legs. SIL commended us for taking the chance, and I was glad too, as part of my new year's resolutions (more in a later post) is to push my comfort zones.

Through it all, I was not as cold as I remembered or expected to be - having the correct cold-weather gear made a huge difference. So does adrenaline :P

I think I could get used to skiing given more practice at a much less crowded resort, but no idea when that will happen. The bib came back along with everything else, so I'm prepared at least.

I may have given up on my efforts at wearing proper fencing shoes.

I suspect my D'Artagnan IIs are worn out, based on the fact that my past few orthotic replacements haven't kept my arches or shins from flaring up. That, and fact that my left big toe has worn a big hole in the innersole :P

I converted to them in the first place because I didn't like fencing in my old crosstrainers - they felt bulky and like I was dragging massive wedges of foam!! behind me, but that was ~2 years of footwork ago, and my knees weren't grumping at me then.

I've done some footwork in my new (plush, soft, like walking on a dream, but still big and foamy) cross-trainers, and if they don't slow me down on the strip during tomorrow's practice I'm calling 'em my new sneaks :P

Why must shoes that my feet love so offend my eye? Big white sneakers are among my least favorite looks :P

So, you know I didn't show well at Nationals. Much of this was because I was denied my preferred sleep and food rituals.

I lurve my prep, and tend to lean on it rather heavily to keep my game in order because even the tiniest discomfort derails me. However, I saw people with far greater impediments than I still manage to hold it together on the strip long enough to do some impressive things. People with injuries, illnesses, nausea, and even less sleep or food than I managed to summon something that I don't have and score a couple more touches, keep their feet moving just those few seconds more. Compared to these lions of endurance/stoicism, I feel like a tiny mewling kitten :P

Part of this is laziness on my part - my inner hobbit desperately wants to rest my legs as soon as they start to hurt and take a nap as soon as my eyelids droop. Having an uncompromising coach who pushes me just a little bit more every lesson helps, but I need to develop some internal toughness and self-discipline.

All of you who engage in physically/mentally demanding endeavors - how do you work through the distractions of pain, illness, sleeplessness and other less-than-perfect conditions to get something out of your performance?