it's like the eye of a duck

Some noteworthy things crossed my screen this morning:

Best dressed of the 2013 Met Costume Institute Gala: which COULD have been interesting as the exhibit is Punk: Chaos to Couture but looking through the images, it seems like only Madonna got the memo. Michael Musto nails it.

For the record, I do plan to go up for the exhibit and I have no illusions about high fashion stealing ideas from the street - it always has and always will. I do find it disappointing that while it appears the exhibit will delve into the roots and philosophy of original punk (anti)fashion, no actual punks were in attendance (lurve you Vivienne Westwood, but you've not been a punk for a long time). Not like punks would actually show up to a fashion gala, but one would think they would have invited some, at least in a cynical attempt to shock.

It's also aesthetically disappointing because it's another parade of pretty people wearing predictably sleek designer gear. Don't get me wrong - I like looking at sleek designer gear and pretty people - but it's not challenging or interesting and one would have hoped the theme would encourage SOMEONE to take some fashion risks, but no.

As an aside, this is also why I don't go out of my way to view the Oscar red carpet - there are no surprises. Gimme another Bjork swan dress (a dress so odd it has it's own Wikipedia page!) and maybe I'll go to the trouble.

The other is this photo essay Rave kids in the '90s vs. rave kids today, and I know I'm going to sound like an old crusty, but here goes: I find it sad that the current styles for women are so sexualized. Nothing wrong with sex or being sexy, but Back In The Day(TM), raving was about dancing - hard, sweatily, all night. You didn't run around in a sports bra to look hot, but because it was so hot it was raining indoors - in short, you dressed so you could dance comfortably.

I love the costumey aspect, but I imagine it's hard to seriously pound the parquet if you're afraid your clothes are going to fall off :P

Also one of the things I loved about raving was that I was coming out of a club scene that emphasized tight minidresses and "dress to impress" and it was a relief to go out and not have to be sexy sexy sexy just to get in the door. I could just dance and let the music take me.

If raving is just another fashion show, I think that's sad. But I'm also heartened that if this is the case there will inevitably be a pendulum swing away from that, if there isn't already.

I can sometimes have a grim view of humanity. Not of individual people, mind - I maintain that many if not most people are basically good, or at least content to live and let live.

No, it's groups of people that I have little hope for. Reading this account and analysis of bullying only gives fuel to the suspicion I entertain on my worst days that given the slightest peer pressure, most people will bully or put up with the bullying of others. They do it because they can, because it's an easy way to feel good about themselves, and bystanders will do nothing out of fear of backlash. Which I get, kind of - standing up and standing alone is difficult and scary.

It's not even exclusively a "high school pressure cooker" thing either, though that's where I learned the damn hard lesson that when it mattered, no one would get my back. I think the link makes an excellent point that people never outgrow that need to take the easy and ugly way, and this is reflected in political discourse and lingering discrimination against the out-group du jour.

As an adult I can be more pragmatic, almost to the point of acceptance that This Is How Things Are, whether I like it or not. Not everyone is cut out to be a rebel or hero, they have their own problems, and expecting different is just banging my head against the wall.

Then... I see something like this (HT attack_laurel) and it reminds me that there is generosity, and compassion, and bravery in masses. It heartens me, makes me expect and demand more of people and of myself, as much as it angers me that this seems like such a rare thing.

Despite the gloom/doom lead-in, I'm trying to write a happy post here! Got any examples of human selflessness, bravery, joy? Leave 'em in the comments.

I'm working my way down the infinite book stack. I'm finally delving into Alternative femininities: body, age and identity, an academic look at tattooed women, post-teen goths, and other women with non-traditional styles who plan to maintain them past college age. It starts with a description of who (the appendix lists details of all interviewees) and why (how do older women navigate subculture?), followed by a chapter defining a common understanding of mainstream femininity.

Just as I start this I run into Painted Ladies: on tats and trashiness a decidedly less academic source but I'm pleased that it criticizes the notion that Nice Girls Don't.

Both stick in my mind as though I don't have tattoos, I do have body piercings that according to mainstream notions aren't only questionable to begin with, but that I've hung onto long past their sell-by date (and plan to keep doing so). I originally got them in my twenties during a time I was getting pressure from family and peers to look a certain way, as a way of marking my body as mine. I also hoped they'd serve as a kind of filter to avoid judgmental lovers - I figured that if someone was going to pearl-clutch at the sight of my steel then maybe they didn't need to be seeing me naked :P

In other words, I didn't do it for the pretty :P

I guess it's just bewildering to me that it's news to some people that not all women want to look the same, or please anyone but themselves with their body adornment.

• 10:53 Symposium: Fashion In Fiction - The Dark Side. Oct 8-10 in Philly: tinyurl.com/ygst5hb . Fashion + writing = I will try 2 attend. #
• 12:27 @daudi_g - Think you might go? #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

Badass graphic novels, via jlsjlsjls

Related: almeda posts a roundup of alternative Superman comic art.

Just what counts as "sex"? Opinions differ, via rm.

belfebe considers creating a website highlighting airport restrooms of the world. Anyone who has had a long layover will surely agree that such a site's popularity would rival that of Yelp and ICanHazCheezburger.

dustdaughter pointed out Shonibare's work to me over a month ago. I liked his aesthetic right away - it reminds me of Vivienne Westwood's in the sense that he takes historic European clothing and turns it on its ear - in his case, 18th century frock coats and the like made out of African fabrics.

Which aren't African, as it happens - they're Dutch batiks purchased in London. Steampunker Ay-Leen the Peacemaker has a thoughtful writeup on the cross-cultural inspirations and implications of his work over at her blog. I'd actually recommend her entire Beyond Victoriana series on non-Eurocentric steampunk (go for the pretty clothes, stay for the political/cultural deconstruction).

As it turns out, his exhibit at the NMAfA goes through March 7. Anyone interested in going in the new year?

Am I a total killjoy that I find this (found over at Pharyngula) rather amusing?

'Cos when I think about it, it does seem a bit weird/excessive to invent a jolly, gift-bearing man in red when all the Christmas decorations, gifts, etc. are going to be equally fun whether they come from Santa or Mom and Dad.

I mean, why not tell kids that Wonder Woman is bringing gifts to all the good boys and girls? At least it would render moot the thing about not letting kids find out that Santa isn't real.

I actually don't remember when I figured out that Santa=parents, but I don't remember being particularly traumatized or upset by it.

When/how did you find out about Santa (if you come from that background)?

badmagic has some interesting conversations going on about direct asking vs. hinting here and here - are you an Asker or a Hinter, or some combination depending on context?

I think he and his commenters spoke to some stuff I've had on my mind about my difficulty reading "between the lines" and sometimes embarrassing literalism, but have not been able to hammer out into anything coherent. Good reading.

Also linked to the Five Geek Social Fallacies, all of which I've fallen for at one time or another :P

Veddy interesting.....

"Karl Rove's father was not only gay, but a part of the early body piercing scene and a regular at 70s piercing parties... There are pictures of him on BME". So says the afore-linked BoingBoing article which I found through Susie Bright's blog; a more thorough (and graphic - not safe for work, and might squick those who are bothered by body piercing) essay at BMEZine has more.

This amuses me. Not because I think there's anything wrong with being gay or being into body art, or that I assume that kids must be exactly like their parents (in my experience, the fruit can fall VERY far from the tree). But still. Karl Rove's dad. In my admittedly biased opinion, Rove Sr. had more cause to be embarrassed by his son than the other way around.