beauty is in the eye of the pocketbook

[anotheranon]

Pandagon's expansion on a post at Alley Rat about the sad state of men who so media-saturated that they can't find normal women attractive got me thinking about how much of human desire is our own, and how much is just overexposure to Photoshopped models. I know what constant visions of rail-thin women to do other women - makes us feel bad enough about how we look that we will shell out for the latest makeup/snake oil/gym membership to firm up/shave off/cover up where we think we're lacking or have too much. Even though I've seen models in person and know, definitely, that even they don't look like their photos, I have to admit it still sometimes gets to me that my skin isn't perfect or that my tummy isn't perfectly flat.

But I never considered the guy's perspective - there are some guys getting really bothered by the fact that they can't get turned on by normal sized/shaped women because all they've ever seen are models and actresses, and heavily Photoshopped ones at that. If the comments on these two posts are any indication, those who do fancy someone other than the advertising standards of young and thin are mocked by their male peers or considered fetishists for liking a woman of perfectly normal proportions.

I also have to wonder if this isn't affecting women too - after all, billboards aren't chock full of balding guys with beer guts. And much as Hugh Jackman's arms are a joy to behold, I DO know that there is an infinite variety of male beauty out there. At least, I hope I do.

IMHO this is a downright freakish state of affairs! I know that some of us have overcome Hollywood/Madison Avenue well enough to develop our own tastes; did we all stop watching tv? Personally I think it's helpful to see lots of ordinary people naked to get a more realistic idea of, well, reality, but somehow I don't think that most people will really go for nationally encouraged nudity :P

Yes, this is an incoherent rambling post, and the links above discuss the issues of media, body image, and selling stuff far better than I can here. Read & discuss amongst yourselves....

Comments

[ragdoll.livejournal.com]

It's a really interesting and telling article. I've been saying that for years -- even when I was younger (in my late teens and twenties), I was considered "ugly" because I wasn't a size two or blonde. I wish I was joking, I'm not. My breasts were either too big (when the standard was more flat chested tall blonde types like Jerry Hall or Cheryl Tiegs) or the only thing good about me (when it was busty tall blondes in vogue). I've known I was too old for men my age for at least 10 years -- most men in their 30s and 40s only wanted 20 year olds.

My ex was odd because he liked curvy women - so natural he was considered a chubby chaser. I felt uncomfortable with it because he seemed like me at 100 lbs overweight more than 30-40. I've often been told that I would've been considered beautiful in the Victorian/Edwardian era esp. cos I have an hour glass figure esp. when corseted but I'll never have really thin thighs or calves etc.

It's really sad the the current trend for beauty in the media is stick anorexic thin with silicon boobs stuck on. *shudders*

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

I also find it interesting that at least a few guys are standing up and pointing out just how weird the current state of feminine beauty requirements are, and how much of it is enforced by some guys' need to impress other guys. Read the comments - very telling.

[ragdoll.livejournal.com]

Will do-- I thought it was good that some of the guys were talking about how f'ed up it is and that they wanted to get turned on by "real women" but couldn't.

The saddest thing is some of my doll-boy friends work in the fashion industry. One of them is a big time make up artist who loves to make me feel good by telling me tales about the women he works with who are the biggest in the biz. If it wasn't for good makeup/hair people and photoshop, they wouldn't be considered much better looking than the rest of us. (And yes, it does make me feel good to know that Cindy Crawford has really bad hair in person)

[timcharmorbien.livejournal.com]

"I've known I was too old for men my age for at least 10 years -- most men in their 30s and 40s only wanted 20 year olds."

That's interesting, because I've found the opposite to be true for me; as I get older I tend to find women closer to my age to be more attractive than the early-20s; 30 and 40 year olds just have more going on for them than the younger women, IMHO. I'm a 42 year old man, what am I going to talk about with a 20 year old? Her Barbies? :p

[ragdoll.livejournal.com]

I'm the same age as you. Most of the men I've known (including my ex who left me for a 21 year old) only showed interest in girls in their 20s, saying I (and anyone else in my age bracket) was "too old". So it's very frustrating.