the hallowed object: the Southern biscuit

[anotheranon]

I was pleased to see that Alton Brown devoted one of his shows to the the subtle art of Southern biscuit making. It was a treat because he had a "bake off" against his own grandmother, who, in true Southern grandmotherly fashion, didn't really measure, and has used the same baking pan, mixing bowl etc. for years!

I remember when I first begged my mom for her biscuit recipe, and she couldn't give it to me, because she never measured anything! She finally came up with a recipe (provided upon request), but I've never been able to make mine as good as hers. I'm guessing this is the sort of thing that is really best learned from your mom or grandma, and not from a book.

AB demonstrated some cooking tips that might help (use aluminum pans, as dark/teflon pans can burn the bottom of biscuits; use the right kind of flour), but it almost feels like a betrayl to consider following his recipe to the letter - you just don't blithely choose someone else's biscuit recipe over that of your own mother unless you've tried absolutely everything to get mama's recipe to work! :P

Got me craving biscuits now, though.

Comments

[hadesgirl.livejournal.com]

Hey - bring your recipe with you and we'll try it together!!! Mikey can be our guinea pig.

Gee, do you realize it's only 21 days till you come here?????? Wow! I'd better start cleaning, LOL!!!!!!!!!! It'll take that long to clear out the cat hair...

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

Would be quite happy to do so! And don't worry - I am used to cat hair. Indeed, given the composition of my family homes, I think cat hair may actually be a biscuit ingredient in my family! :D

[hadesgirl.livejournal.com]

It was quite amusing, though, the last time you were here - you were in black when you arrived, but by the time you left, you were a furry, tabby orange!

[jlsjlsjls.livejournal.com]

MMMmmm ... biscuits!!!

I know what you mean ... my Scottish shortbread never turns out quite the same as my mother's (and she USES a recipe!!!!!) ... it tastes exactly the same, but the texture is different (I blame it on the lack of humidity out here, since it always ends up more crumbly than Mom's). But her no-bake chocolate oatmeal cookies always turn out right!!!! ***munching happily while typing***

Interestingly, I read a novel many years ago that included a solution to the no-measurements problem: Robert Kimmel Smith's Sadie Shapiro, Matchmaker. A sideplot involved a young woman who was frustrated because her grandmother wouldn't share a favourite recipe (I think it was a fruitcake) ... the grandmother, like your mom, had always made the cake without measuring and had no recipe to give. So a friend sat and watched her make the cake ... and measured each ingredient after the correct amount had been "felt" out by the grandmother.

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

My biscuits always turn out too dark, or burnt on the bottom, or too flat, or too salty or not salty enough. My mom's are always deleriously perfect in all their permutations (the recipe can also be used for whole wheat biscuits, pizza sticks and cinnamon rolls)

Mmmmm... cinnamon rolls....

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

Whoah - rewind! Just reread this and caught "no bake chocolate oatmeal cookies" - how'd I miss THAT, baby!? Do share!!

[jlsjlsjls.livejournal.com]

(when I was a kid, we always called these "porridge cookies" 'cause of the oatmeal ***grin***)

1/2 cup margarine or butter
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup milk
5 tbsp cocoa
3 cups rolled oats
1 cup shredded coconut

Bring butter, sugar & milk to a boil. Add remaining ingredients & cook for 5 minutes. Remove from heat & stir until slightly cooled. Drop spoonfuls on cookie pan to set (putting the pan in the fridge works best ... and, as timcharmorbien mentioned, putting wax paper on the cookie sheet is very helpful ... should also be put between the layers when storing cookies in a container)

[timcharmorbien.livejournal.com]

Hmmmph - - my no bake chocolate oatmeal cookies are always too sticky. I mean, bring a spoon and eat 'em right off the waxpaper sticky. :)

[jlsjlsjls.livejournal.com]

Gotta keep 'em in the fridge in your climate. Out here, the humidity-lack makes 'em perfect chewy texture without one leaving chocolate fingerprints everywhere! :-))))

[timcharmorbien.livejournal.com]

At least my biscuits usually turn out okay. :) I think the next time we all get together, we should plan on some sort of grand biscuit cook-off and compare. ;)

[jlsjlsjls.livejournal.com]

Sounds yummy!!!!! Just promise that nobody will make 'em John Crichton-style, okay?

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

I forget - exactly what is John Crichton style? This isn't the episode with the fried dentics (eww!!) is it?

But yes, definitely a bake-off. All the ingredients are cheap, we'll just remember to have enough cooking utensils to go around!

[jlsjlsjls.livejournal.com]

I was thinking of a first-season episode (can't remember which) where everybody in the crew contributed something to the dinner table. Everybody agrees that a certain item was awful ... turns out to be Crichton's biscuits. He lists the ingredients, then when Zhaan points out that they don't actually HAVE any of those ingredients on Moya, he says that he substituted 'em. ***grin***

mmmm, biscuits...

[geekchick]

My paternal grandmother, a real Southern matron if there ever was one, made the best buttermilk biscuits in the world. My mother tried to get the recipe, but it was the "well you add this and that and that until it's right, and then you bake" variety. Mom never managed to reproduce Mamaw's recipe, so of course I don't know what it was either.

Now I *really* want hot, homemade buttermilk biscuits.

Re: mmmm, biscuits...

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

Try Alton's recipe at the link - it has both butter and buttermilk in it - not your Mamaws, but .....

It's strange - my mom's recipe asks for regular milk, and I don't remember my Grandma using buttermilk either. My paternal Grandmother does make buttermilk biscuits - from a can ;)

Re: mmmm, biscuits...

[geekchick]

That sounds about right, butter and buttermilk. Mmmmm. Hot from the oven, light and fluffy.

My paternal Grandmother does make buttermilk biscuits - from a can ;)

I'm lame and have a bag of them in the freezer. ;)

[jlsjlsjls.livejournal.com]

In all the fun and silliness, I forgot ... may I have your "provided upon request" biscuit recipe? I wanna see how southern biscuits compare to Canuck ones. :-)

[nminusone.livejournal.com]

I don't like to use recipes, any more in the lab than in the kitchen. Measure out the hardener for the resin? Nope. Use exactly equal amounts of the 2-part epoxy ingredients? Eeeh, eyeballing it is close enough. How much hydrazine was I supposed to add to the methyl nitrate? It's giving off green fumes now, so let's go with that. Even when it comes to making hot sauces, the idea of using a recipe is just kinda silly. When it burns holes in glass, then it's done.

I'd also hate to point out how many industrial chemists follow this same approach. Think Scotty in the engine room. "Oh, sure that reactor can take a bit more. Up the feed rate on the MIC (methyl isocyanate) by 100kg/hr, and bump the temperature up another 7 degrees C. She'll hold together." Of course every now and then it doesn't. "Oops." A ChemE I used to know said it's not a matter of "if" you'll launch a column, it's a matter of "how often".

Ok, just kidding on that last paragraph. I hope!

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

Even when it comes to making hot sauces, the idea of using a recipe is just kinda silly. When it burns holes in glass, then it's done.

You ARE aware you are Dave Lister incarnate, right? Check out the polymorph episode, where he makes "Shami Kebab Diablo" :P

[nminusone.livejournal.com]

I suppose if it's between Lister and Rimmer, I can't feel bad about going with the former. :)