where's my head at?
May. 28th, 2007 06:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anotheranonSo, I'm in my first competition in just a couple of weeks.
Fencing buddy B. sent on this helpful primer for newbie competitors (subtitled "Dude, Where's My Foil?" - gotta love it) and has generously volunteered for the duties of brunch creator, cheering squad, "squire" and post-bout deconstruction hostess, for which I am very grateful, but I am rather surprised at her confidence. She hopes our club takes the top spots, which I hope too, but I'm very aware of my limitations and hope I don't disappoint.
Understand - I don't think I'm THAT awful, but compared to many of the other people in my club, I really am a relative newbie - in 6 years I'm getting to the stage where I'm unlearning as many bad habits as I am practicing good ones, and it's daunting at times. My club has an informal "ladder" competition going on in which those further down can challenge those further up, and even though I'm signed up for a competition I've declined to participate in the ladder simply because I'm intimidated as hell, and some part of me is scared to go in and lose and get completely demoralized.
Why I fear losing to my equals less than losing to those provably better than me is one of those stupid things; maybe it's because I know I'll see the club mates a week after any defeat but new people - well, I don't see them often and care less what they think anyway.
It's fscking embarrassing because I shouldn't feel bad about fencing to the best of my ability, no matter what that ends up being (hell, that's why I'm competing - I'm curious just how good, or bad, I am). If anything, avoiding making a fool of myself usually means I don't move forward, so maybe it would be better for me and for my game if I bit the bullet, hopped on the club ladder, and got my clock cleaned :P
Fencing buddy B. sent on this helpful primer for newbie competitors (subtitled "Dude, Where's My Foil?" - gotta love it) and has generously volunteered for the duties of brunch creator, cheering squad, "squire" and post-bout deconstruction hostess, for which I am very grateful, but I am rather surprised at her confidence. She hopes our club takes the top spots, which I hope too, but I'm very aware of my limitations and hope I don't disappoint.
Understand - I don't think I'm THAT awful, but compared to many of the other people in my club, I really am a relative newbie - in 6 years I'm getting to the stage where I'm unlearning as many bad habits as I am practicing good ones, and it's daunting at times. My club has an informal "ladder" competition going on in which those further down can challenge those further up, and even though I'm signed up for a competition I've declined to participate in the ladder simply because I'm intimidated as hell, and some part of me is scared to go in and lose and get completely demoralized.
Why I fear losing to my equals less than losing to those provably better than me is one of those stupid things; maybe it's because I know I'll see the club mates a week after any defeat but new people - well, I don't see them often and care less what they think anyway.
It's fscking embarrassing because I shouldn't feel bad about fencing to the best of my ability, no matter what that ends up being (hell, that's why I'm competing - I'm curious just how good, or bad, I am). If anything, avoiding making a fool of myself usually means I don't move forward, so maybe it would be better for me and for my game if I bit the bullet, hopped on the club ladder, and got my clock cleaned :P
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no subject
Date: 2007-05-29 02:00 pm (UTC)1. Bite the bullet and get your ass kicked occasionally, you may feel silly/intimidated/etc. but you will never truly progress without competition.
2. Learn everything you can from each loss, it'll make you better in the long run
3. I hate losing!! But if I'm gonna lose, let it be against a better opponent that makes me give my all. That's the key, give it your all.
4. Be as gracious losing as you are winning.
5. Don't forget, everyone else on that ladder is as worried about looking silly or losing face as you are. The only difference, they are out there fighting that fear.
As played as it is, the Nike tag line is very apt: Just do it! Or for a geekier motivational a la the Bene Gesserit:
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Good luck next Saturday!!