weekend windup
Mar. 17th, 2002 10:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anotheranonMostly sat in front of the tv starting the great lot of hand sewing involved in the Fortuny. It's incredibly repetitive so I have to do something to relieve the inertia. I finally watched "Hannibal" - it wasn't as horrid as I thought it would be, mostly because I'd heard all about it and knew what was coming. Maybe one of these days I'll be able to watch "Silence of the Lambs" without hiding behind my hands...
I had time to consider things and talk with D. about a variety of subjects. It occurs to me that I have few developed skills. This isn't a beg for compliments or self-absorbed pity party, just a sort of mental purge.
I can sew and draw well. Paint and metalwork moderately. Art craft stuff of all kinds sporadically.
I can code HTML, do computer graphics (for the web, at least). I can program if a real programmer is on call to hold my hand (must work on that).
Though scientific and mathematical subjects interest me, I lack the patience/inclination/natural aptitude to study them seriously - despite my interest in the history of dreadful disease I have never progressed far beyond books for the "popular audience" (Hot Zone, Coming Plague, etc.).
My strategic and planning skills are weak. I first noticed this when I started fencing - I can occasionally get a touch due to sheer luck or speed, but luck is unreliable and speed fades. It is so time consuming to develop the mental agility to both fake the other guy out *and* score a point - probably why I quickly lose almost every board game I play (except my beloved Trivial Pursuit).
I read a lot and quickly, but have read little classic literature, and tend to read so fast that its not unusual for me to re-read books and discover that I missed a lot the first time through.
My vocabulary is decent, but my pronunciation is often flawed. This comes from reading far more than speaking.
Public speaking is something that still horrifies me. I am extremely bad at being the center of attention. Adjunct to this - I cannot take a compliment.
I am ok socially with a small group of select friends, but new people tend to make me feel as awkward as a 13 year old.
As I get older, I'm getting a better impression of what constitutes acceptable human behavior, but I understand the "theory" far more than I grasp actual practice. I am enamoured of the idea that we keep learning throughout our lives, but I wonder if social skills are like vision or learning to walk; something that has to be learned by a certain age if they are to be learned at all.
I've made peace with my looks or lack thereof, but still get nervous about being photographed or filmed - I always wonder if that's what I look like to everyone else or if the camera really does lie.
I have a serious dearth of both patience and persistence. I cannot count the number of unfinished projects and books.
I find it difficult to keep my mind on where I am, what I'm doing - <yoda>A Jedi I am not</yoda>.
I find it difficult to grasp concepts that I cannot physically see. I think this may be one of my issues with programming - I'm too visual and there's nothing to see there.
To paraphrase Diana Vreeland "My eyes are tired from looking at so many beautiful things"...
I am tired, the melatonin is kicking in.
I shouldn't be so maudlin - I know that I can get good at these things, all I have to do is really WANT to be good at them. If I don't then clearly I don't want it badly enough.
<scarlett>Tomorrow is another day</scarlett>
I had time to consider things and talk with D. about a variety of subjects. It occurs to me that I have few developed skills. This isn't a beg for compliments or self-absorbed pity party, just a sort of mental purge.
I can sew and draw well. Paint and metalwork moderately. Art craft stuff of all kinds sporadically.
I can code HTML, do computer graphics (for the web, at least). I can program if a real programmer is on call to hold my hand (must work on that).
Though scientific and mathematical subjects interest me, I lack the patience/inclination/natural aptitude to study them seriously - despite my interest in the history of dreadful disease I have never progressed far beyond books for the "popular audience" (Hot Zone, Coming Plague, etc.).
My strategic and planning skills are weak. I first noticed this when I started fencing - I can occasionally get a touch due to sheer luck or speed, but luck is unreliable and speed fades. It is so time consuming to develop the mental agility to both fake the other guy out *and* score a point - probably why I quickly lose almost every board game I play (except my beloved Trivial Pursuit).
I read a lot and quickly, but have read little classic literature, and tend to read so fast that its not unusual for me to re-read books and discover that I missed a lot the first time through.
My vocabulary is decent, but my pronunciation is often flawed. This comes from reading far more than speaking.
Public speaking is something that still horrifies me. I am extremely bad at being the center of attention. Adjunct to this - I cannot take a compliment.
I am ok socially with a small group of select friends, but new people tend to make me feel as awkward as a 13 year old.
As I get older, I'm getting a better impression of what constitutes acceptable human behavior, but I understand the "theory" far more than I grasp actual practice. I am enamoured of the idea that we keep learning throughout our lives, but I wonder if social skills are like vision or learning to walk; something that has to be learned by a certain age if they are to be learned at all.
I've made peace with my looks or lack thereof, but still get nervous about being photographed or filmed - I always wonder if that's what I look like to everyone else or if the camera really does lie.
I have a serious dearth of both patience and persistence. I cannot count the number of unfinished projects and books.
I find it difficult to keep my mind on where I am, what I'm doing - <yoda>A Jedi I am not</yoda>.
I find it difficult to grasp concepts that I cannot physically see. I think this may be one of my issues with programming - I'm too visual and there's nothing to see there.
To paraphrase Diana Vreeland "My eyes are tired from looking at so many beautiful things"...
I am tired, the melatonin is kicking in.
I shouldn't be so maudlin - I know that I can get good at these things, all I have to do is really WANT to be good at them. If I don't then clearly I don't want it badly enough.
<scarlett>Tomorrow is another day</scarlett>
