risk assessment

[anotheranon]

I'm roadtripping this weekend (remember this? No, not the faire, the other one). It's not that long of a drive - about 2 1/2 hours or so.

So why am I already hunting directions and plotting in uneccessary detail when I need to get up, where I need to fill the tank, how much coffee do I need to brew to be awake, etc.? Hell, why am I even listing all that out, when I've 1) made MUCH longer solo drives without incident (well, minimal incident), and 2) am (reasonably) comfortable driving in the doGforsaken traffic that IS my local freeway?

Not so dirty not so secret: I had two wrecks before I turned 17 (going back a long way, but I have a point, and I WILL get there). My dad pulled my license and through senior year of high school up until I graduated college, I was extraordinarily rarely allowed to drive without an "adult" in the car with me. This was on the grounds that if I so much as backed out of the driveway, I would surely have a fatal car wreck. My parents rationalized that it was better for me to be bored than dead. I rationalized that having a life beyond my parents 4 walls during school breaks was worth a little risk.

And indeed, in the ~12 years past graduation, I've become a fair driver, at least on open road. I've even had a teeny fenderbender in the middle of a 7 hour drive and not only lived, but kept my head on when dealing with insurance cards, finishing the trip, and the like.

But still, when I'm driving to a new place for the first time, I get into this hyper-prepared state where I want to have everything I could possibly need for the trip laid out days in advance. It's all because even though I know better, some part of the back of my head still screams "But you've never driven there before and you're by yourself and if you don't do absolutely everything possible to know EXACTLY where you're going and when and how you could DIIIIIIIEEEE!!"

As such I have an [ahem], somewhat skewed sense of how to prepare for a safe road trip :P

Yes, this is stupid. Yes, objectively, I do know better. Once I'm actually on the road, I'll be fine.

I'm just marveling at the incredible staying power of staggeringly stupid shit.

Fear truly is the mindkiller.

Comments

[fabucat.livejournal.com]

and I'm afraid to drive period. never got my license. another thing that scares me: is that Tony Snow on your icon?

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

To be fair, I probably shouldn't have tried for my license until I was 17 or 18 - I was a very stressed out teenager. Unfortunately, I grew up in an area with absolutely no public transportation - in order to work, play, hell - leave the house, you HAD to know how to drive.

Re: my icon: that's Dave Lister from "Red Dwarf" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Lister)!

[hadesgirl.livejournal.com]

Yes, fear is the mind killer, however... don't forget the rest of the mantra:

I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

[zen4me.livejournal.com]

I love that mantra - them Bene Gesserit Witches were quite smart sometimes!

[hadesgirl.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah...!

[semmie17.livejournal.com]

You need to kill the fear by doing the opposite. I frequently travel cross-country, and you know I do it sometimes three times a year, traveling thousands of miles at a pop. I pack, and prepare in advance because I'm usually gone for months, but once I'm on the road, I just.... exist. I let the road offer me it's surprises.

You should have seen me last May, when I got lost just off the I-80, heading south on the I-74/88 loop, and found my self crossing the Mississippi... for the second time in a half hour. I just laughed at myself, turned around as soon as I could, and got out of Iowa... *again.* (One can never have too much Iowa.)

And then... speaking of planning ahead, you'll have to ask Gigi about the WIGWAM VILLAGE. :P

[hadesgirl.livejournal.com]

Hey! They looked like CUTE LITTLE TEEPEES! How was I to know they were disgusting inside???????

You ALSO didn't mention I footed the $85 hotel bill the next night because I wasn't about to stay the second night of our two-night stay in the Wigwam Village.

::::grin::::

Heh - the Comfort Inn really lost out... I think I would have gladly paid $100 not to stay in that other disaster, LOL!!!

[semmie17.livejournal.com]

:::hangs head::; 'Tis true... she offered to get a new hotel, and I have to admit I didn't put up much of a fuss.

But hey, we have the fantastic memories, right? ;ppp

[jlsjlsjls.livejournal.com]

And semmie17 forgot to mention the time the two of us misplaced the Grand Canyon (but we got Zion National Park as a consolation prize).

To me it's not a proper road trip (or even into a new part of the city) without at least one wrong turning ... that's how it all becomes an adventure. I can fully understand your need for doublechecking and preparation ... personal history and programming-during-youth are hard ones to overcome (I've got a couple of my own that still require all my willpower to resist). But I know that one of these days you're gonna give us a giggle-filled account of an accidental magical mystery tour that you loved every minute of. :-)

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

See, that's the stupid thing - I've enjoyed every road trip I've taken since I finally built up the nerve to do them (I think around 1998). Yeah, even the one where I dinged a minivan on the Pennsylvania Turnpike :P

It's just a weird reaction I have any time I'm going to drive someplace new that's more than about an hour away: it's been drilled into my head that it's a Big Deal and that if I'm not vividly alert I will go off my guard and something Bad will happen.

As it is, I want to time this trip to show up on time because the papers start getting presented at 10:30 am - one on pirate clothing (real and imagined). Strong impetus not to get lost:P

[nminusone.livejournal.com]

it's been drilled into my head that it's a Big Deal

It might be time for some equally-vigorous drilling of your own, to instill a more pleasant belief system. And sometimes it has to be pretty damn vigorous to get you out of the well-worn rut and into a better rut of your own choosing. They wouldn't be called demons if "pretty please" was all it took to make 'em go away.

anotherjen has been dealing with her own fears of driving lately. It's been a hard fought battle every step of the way but she's persisted and made great progress. I'm proud of her, and the results are well worth it.

Have a good trip! Listen to your reason this time - you'll be fine. :)

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

I just skipped over to her journal and look forward to reading more - thanks for sending this on. I completely identify with the concept of "ride karma" ("carma"?) - I like being able to drive people around because I bummed so many rides throughout college..

[hadesgirl.livejournal.com]

You MISSED the Grand Canyon!?!?!?!? Dare I ask how? ;-))

[jlsjlsjls.livejournal.com]

Gee, you make it sound like something that SHOULDN'T be easy to do. ***GRIN***

Actually it was poor signage heading north out of Phoenix ... and IMHO, the vivid rock colours and tunnels (with windows cut out wherever there was an extra-spectacular view) of Zion were far more beautiful than a big hole in the ground. ;p

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

Damn, I hope they missed it - that's the sorta thing it would really hurt if you fell in! :P

[hadesgirl.livejournal.com]

ROFL!!!! Like George of the Jungle (watch out for that TREE!!!) but worse.........

[jlsjlsjls.livejournal.com]

Especially in a car loaded to the rafters with heavy stuff ... we'd have had an interior avalanche as we plummeted! =O