costume thoughts: gender and clothing

[anotheranon]

This post over at Bitch Ph.D about the struggles she has finding gender-neutral children's clothing for her kid reminded me how we start enforcing outward gender appearances at such ridiculously young ages. Reading through the comments, it turns out that little girls are given a little more leeway, but that the idea of boys wearing pink or nail polish (or both!) is somehow still absolutely verboten, even though it seems small children of both genders like to play dress up and enjoy shiny things.

Thinking back, I can't remember my parents ever pushing my sister and I to wear dresses at any age except when we went to church, and even then it was usually something we could move around (or alternately, sit comfortably) in. The only exception I remember were a pair of diabolically itchy frilly panties, a gift from my grandmother that I was forced to wear only once. I was only about 2 or 3 at the time, and yes - they were so awful I remember them even now! My parents were terrifically sensible people who realized that small children run around and get dirty - I don't think I had more than one pair of shoes at a time until I was in 6th grade or so and started caring about fashion.

But then, we were girls, and I suspect that even 30 years ago it was easier to deal with girls in pants than with boys in bonnets. I shudder to think what would have happened to any brother we might have had - my dad could be very traditional and would have had a coronary if he'd a son with long hair, let alone pierced ears or the other androgynous men's styles I remember from the 1980s :P If the comments over at Bitch PhD are any indication, there are a LOT of fathers and grandfathers who still haven't revised their narrow definition of acceptable masculine style.

Which is a real pity, because some guys can carry off nail polish, or eyeliner, or skirts with wonderful style and still appear totally macho and hot (slim, dramatic gothic guys spring to mind). It's all in the personality, you know, and admittedly you know you've met fairly brave guy when he'll wear a skirt in public (no, kilts do not count).

Still, all those gender-reinforcers might be onto something. I grew up in pants and still wear them most of the time, and love a well tailored suit :P

Comments

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to give Alex the broad range of options, even though my personal bias would be to avoid pink frilly stuff completely. So the other day she peed all over her denim overalls with the embroidered baseball on the knee, and I changed her into a pink nightgown with little embroidered rosebuds.

Would I have the courage to do the same, someday, for her hypothetical baby brother? I'm not sure.

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

Would I have the courage to do the same, someday, for her hypothetical baby brother? I'm not sure.

It's sad that boys/men are STILL so limited in their roles, and are so harshly punished when they try to go outside of them.

Is that Alex in your icon? I've not been able to get to any of your other pictures. Very inquisitive looking child :)

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's her, and yes, she is preturnaturally alert. You haven't been able to see any of the others? That's awfully strange.

I was a girly girl.

[shemhazai.livejournal.com]

Yes, I admit it. I liked the pink dresses with little ribbon rosettes. I adored white patent leather mary janes. I went into ecstasys when I got my easter hat. I swore I would never ever ever wear pants.

I know, you'd never know it to look at me. I don't know what happened; somewhere between ages 6 & 10, I said screw it, moved permanently into pants & doc martens, and never looked back.

Re: I was a girly girl.

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

I SO cannot envision you in a pink dress. Well, ONE pink dress, but I think that's because I saw it with my own eyes!

I wasn't TOTALLY immune to the appeal of girly things as a kid - I do remember one pair of navy blue patent leather mary janes I was especially fond of, but most of my interest in clothes came much later.

Nothing wrong w/pants and docs - elegant, badass, timeless :)

[jlsjlsjls.livejournal.com]

When I worked at the college, it was always the male Japanese (the ones that actually came from Japan to study, not the Japanese-Canadians) students that pushed the fashion gender boundaries ... they were the first to dye their hair in wild colours, were usually clad in amazing clothes, and some wore impeccable makeup every day ... utterly gorgeous. I never saw any of them go as far as a skirt, but that doesn't mean they didn't ... it just means that I didn't see it. It was fun (and heartening) to see some of the local students imitating the international ones' style (although none of the guys was ever brave enough to go for the makeup ... not for daytime classes at least). :-)

Although I do love dressing up once in a while and adore sparkly/shiny/luxurious fabrics, I generally prefer wearing pants, simply because they're comfortable and because I like having full freedom of movement (dresses and skirts, no matter how loved, do make one have to pause and consider just HOW one is going to crawl under that desk to check the computer connections or climb up those shelves to make sure no small books are hidden at the back of the top one ***grin***)