paging Captain Subtext

"A dry crack is a happy crack!"

- a billboard near my house advertising home repair/caulking(?) services

Dear Mr. Colbert

Were I not an old married thing, would you please marry me?? For your address to the White House Press Corp. In front of the president(!!!) Seldom have I seen such artful heights of snark combined with such astoundingly brass huevos!

This is beeyootiful, people! Transcript here if you can't watch the video.

Via tinynibbles, with her take here.