bad smut, no donut

Found at Pandagon, the Bad Sex in Fiction awardees. Some of these are so bad I have to think that the author was trying for humor rather than heat:

( snipped for work-safety )

Holy run-on sentece, Batman! I've written some completely amateur smut and I at least know where to put a period!

...."Like Zorro?" I see what the author is trying to say but, non-sequitir, much?

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Check online for the most up-to-date version of companies who offer "domestic partner benefits and implementing inclusive anti-discrimination policies" for their workers.

(no subject)

Oh, I need some steel and rubber cyber armor! Don't we all, really?