sometimes I impress even myself

[anotheranon]

Ever feel like you had only a finite amount of awesome, and you've used it all up?

Yeah, that was me today as compared to last week. I could not get my head into the game, lost every single bout in pools.

Due to a combination of second wind, number of competitors and sheer luck I was paired fairly evenly in my first DE and won, so got to a 2nd DE, against the guy seeded 3rd (out of 37), which I promptly lost.

This pleased me - after the bad 1st half of the day I was second from the bottom so the only way was up, so to speak. Some part of me still identifies with the bookworm of my childhood that was always picked last for kickball and marvels that I can hit anyone or anything at all, because I am certainly not a born athlete.

But the fact remains I've been hammering away at this sport for 9(!) years now, and competing for 3 - I am an athlete, even if it's mostly enthusiasm rather than ability that fuels it, and I suspect that my low expectations may be holding me back. I tell myself I'm trying not to get overconfident only to be disappointed, but how much of that is an excuse not to try harder?

Those of y'all who compete/are competitive (in a sport or anything else) - what's the happy medium between aiming too high and too low, between setting oneself up for disappointment and slacking?

Comments

[kiya.livejournal.com]

Good records. Seriously. I tracked every event I ever competed in. Notes on competitors, but more importantly, on how I felt and what I was doing.

Then I'd have a nice track record that'd allow me to continue to dream a bit and aim high, but also to PROVE to myself that I was doing okay when I bombed because my "ongoing" work showed progress.

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

Then I'm doing SOMETHING right - I too have kept records of everything and tightened up the process to have everything in a single notebook per competitive year. It does help me see that I'm progressing.

Expectations

[(Anonymous)]

I think the trick is not to aim at all. Mind you, I am still working on this, so it is theoretical. But when I have done my best in competition, it was when I was focusing on that exact moment--that bout, that action, that touch, that breath--rather than thinking ahead to where I was "supposed" to end up. As a matter of fact, thinking about whether I am "supposed" to win a bout pretty much always buggers it for me.

Mind you, the thought is always in the back of my head: "Just promise me if/I give up all ambition/I will be perfect."

--Badger

Re: Expectations

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

I agree with you completely in the context of a competition - too much hope OR nerves will tank my game like nothing else! And "supposed to" is quite possibly the worst thing that can spring into my mind on the strip!

However, in the context of practice, I have to question whether I could be doing more - more time on the strip, more lessons, more crosstraining, more competition (for the experience of competing), etc.