it's like the eye of a duck

So, you know I didn't show well at Nationals. Much of this was because I was denied my preferred sleep and food rituals.

I lurve my prep, and tend to lean on it rather heavily to keep my game in order because even the tiniest discomfort derails me. However, I saw people with far greater impediments than I still manage to hold it together on the strip long enough to do some impressive things. People with injuries, illnesses, nausea, and even less sleep or food than I managed to summon something that I don't have and score a couple more touches, keep their feet moving just those few seconds more. Compared to these lions of endurance/stoicism, I feel like a tiny mewling kitten :P

Part of this is laziness on my part - my inner hobbit desperately wants to rest my legs as soon as they start to hurt and take a nap as soon as my eyelids droop. Having an uncompromising coach who pushes me just a little bit more every lesson helps, but I need to develop some internal toughness and self-discipline.

All of you who engage in physically/mentally demanding endeavors - how do you work through the distractions of pain, illness, sleeplessness and other less-than-perfect conditions to get something out of your performance?

The past week and a half has been miserable, largely due to inadequate A/C in both my car and at home. The latter was fixed back in the spring, and STILL doesn't kick hard enough when the setting sun streams through the windows. We've resorted to just leaving the blinds shut, but it still hits over 80F in the living room.

The car isn't much better - I arrive at work disheveled (because the mercury is climbing even at 8:30 am) and then shiver in the overblown office building climate control until I dry off.

Need I add that the water I drink just comes out my pores? I feel like all I did this weekend was sweat, shower, and sweat some more.

I say the above to illustrate that while I love posh/fancy/unusual clothes, I have junked my creative dressing almost entirely until it cools off - almost any conceivable outfit gets soaked by the end of the day.

I also had to spend $ on some bog-boring cargo pants/capris/things as I've only got two pairs of shorts and they have been cycling in and out of the wash for days.

• 14:53 @geekchick - Ack :( #
• 14:53 Mixed Emotion Theater: pretty spring weather is aggravating my allergies! #
• 14:55 RT @mactavish: RT @Alyssa_Milano: 10 Annoying Habits of a Geeky Spouse bit.ly/ck0iDg (via @manikarthik) <-I am guilty of several #
• 19:19 RT @digitalsista: H1n1 shots are being offered at the gates when you land at IAD <- saw same @ BWI in Dec. #
• 19:21 RT @Irishboy51: May this fine, illegally brewed poitín only blind one out of every four of us. #newtoasts #
• 22:26 Went through a few agility exercises. Not sure I feel agile, or worked out :/ #

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• 12:29 "Order, symmetry and limitation" - Applying Mathematics To Web Design: tinyurl.com/yzawh47 via @Smashingmag #
• 12:31 Coughing for ~2 days now. Pro: body getting rid of ick; con: feel like/in fact am typhoid Mary. #
• 13:45 Taking another decongestant - I still sound like a pack-a-day smoker :( #
• 15:02 Looking Into The Past (#DC and environs): tinyurl.com/cpoj9p #

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Stayed home today in an attempt to kick the sore throat that showed up last night. The ick has migrated to my nose, so I can now manage it with decongestants and swallow comfortably, but still, damn.

Read, dozed, read, dozed on the sofa, and did a couple of really good-looking hand-sewn buttonholes, the way I've been trying to make them for the past 3 projects or so, so that's nice.

Also worked on putting together a fencing notebook of sorts - I've been recording all my competition data since the start of the new season but V. is working on a self-evaluation worksheet and I need someplace to put them. There is a 3-hole punch somewhere in this house but I'll be damned if I know where it is.

I ventured into our long shut-up guest room to look for it there and found it's almost a shrine to mine and D.'s lives of ~3 years ago - old software manuals and magazines, brand new pillows still in their packaging, etc. I can walk through it now, which is no small thing. No hole punch though.

Took some nighttime decongestant though I hate the number it does on my mind - I've been feeling emotionally blah to go with the physical blah so I figured it would handle at least one of these.

Back to work tomorrow unless I really am dying. I'm not good at doing nothing, as you can see above!

Would you rather be enthusiastic or confident? I'm more comfortable with the former - it's just less self-conscious for me. I could really do with a helping of the latter.

Hi, we're Torchwood. You wanna play? 'Cos tw_babiez still amuses. Besides, they have holiday Daleks.

Related: just saw the Dr. Who 2 parter that finished Tennant's run and introduced the new Doctor. No spoilers - I liked it (especially Donna's dad) and the new Doctor looks promising. Still doesn't wedge in my mind as thoroughly as Waters of Mars or Torchwood's Children of Earth miniseries.

Daily prompts to stop and think over at The Mindfulist.

Alton Brown knocks it out of the park again with Live and Let Diet [YouTube]. Via belfebe, who recommended.

I have lousy posture.

This isn't news, but the effects of long term slouching/hunching became abundantly clear to me while watching my latest fencing footage. If I'm not leaning into my lunges I'm hunching in preparation, and more than anything else on screen it makes me wince.

It made me realize that this is one of the key problems with my footwork - I can't make committed lunges if I'm off balance and can't fully extend with rounded shoulders. Recovery is harder as well because my torso is tilted forward. No wonder I loose my footing so easily!

I've long realized that slouchy teenagerdom followed in later life by 8+ hours a day in front of a computer screen has detrimental effects, but this bothers me more because it's affecting my ability to do something! To remedy this I'm making a concerted effort to sit up straight - shoulders down, butt on the edge of my chair, head upright (I should be able to feel the back of my collar).

My lower back is having to pick up the slack and I'm sure I'm tossing my head too far back, but it will feel natural in time if I can just remember to keep up with it.

I slept 14ish hours yesterday.

This was not intentional.

Yeah, it felt good, but it's just a symptom of cold weather: if it falls below 40F, my body wants to hibernate and it's very hard to resist. Look back in my journal archives and you'll likely see similar laments from years past: for most of deep winter (Dec.-Feb.) I'm guzzling coffee and yawning like my jaw will snap off.

I'm doing what I can. Trying to get more sleep, ever present tissue for the constant nasal drip (eww!), lotions/creams for my dry skin and mints for perpetual stale coffee/vampire breath. But dammit, I hate being all inspired without the energy and concentration to follow through.

Expect long sequences of "internet silence" as my sluggish brain tries to develop something coherent to share.

Off to work on my pants-to-knickerbockers conversion (for steampunkery and possible weekend wear).

P.S. Dammit on a spike - LoudTwitter seems to not be posting my tweets. Anyone else having similar problem?

• 21:07 That was really good port. I mean, REALLY good.
• 13:04 RT @MargoEve Tonight's episode of #Castle features @NathanFillion as @writeRCastle dressing for Halloween as beloved Captain Tight Pants.
• 15:07 Just got flu shot (seasonal). Will stretch tonight to combat arm soreness.
• 17:58 Chickennnnnn...

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I miss writing.

Not that I am or was a serious writer with plans to publish or the like - when I do put hands to keyboard it's usually fanfic or something else for my own amusement. Still, I miss warping/inventing characters and taking them for a spin through borrowed/bent worlds.

And the attention - for all my reclusive tendencies, I enjoy writing for an audience. "I laughed" or "I swooned" just make me smile quietly inside :)

I also miss my writing buddies. They are some good and brilliant people, and there's nothing like the back and forth of bouncing narrative off each other and the "what if?"s that lead to hilarious "why not!?"s with them. Hi guys [waves]

I just don't have the time, at least not right now.

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Kirtle makes mad progress. Lacing it up was a trifle that took me about an hour, including making the aiglet out of flattened copper tube (cut with wire snips). Now I'm hemming, and it looks like will come just as long as my ankles. May not need a guard - peasants/middle class wore their skirts a wee bit shorter for practical reasons, right?

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Feeling mostly back to normal now, except for the nasty aftertaste from the antibiotics. I fenced successfully today, with breaks, and while my legs hurt, it's mostly because I can't take any ibuprofen with said antibiotics. I still miss coffee.

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These are beautiful, especially the pirate coat. None have much to do with authenticity and the maker admits as much, but that's not the point.