anotheranon | Fabricaholic's Will

Thought perhaps some of y'all might be able to appreciate this:

Fabricaholic's Will

Being of sound mind and body, I _____, do hereby record my
last will and testament, knowing that _______, my ________,
(husband, sister, daughter, etc.) has no appreciation of, or
in some instances knowledge of, my extensive fabric collection
deposited throughout the house.

Knowing also that ____ has notified the local thrift store
should I precede him or her to the great fabric shop in the sky,
to pick up and dispose of the aforementioned collection.

Therefore, I do will this collection, and all collections related
to it, to my dear fabric preservationist _______. It is my wish
that ______________, upon hearing of my death and obtaining clear
proof that I did not manage, although goodness know I tried, to
take it with me, would come to my home post haste, before the
dumpster, search out my collection which is similarly stored.
That said collection should be rescued and stacked in my sewing
studio along with my sewing machines, frames, old buttons, lace,
patterns, quilts, dolls and works in progress.

And after this has been done that refreshments should be purchased
for my friends, not yet departed, which friends are also _________'s
friends, and every last one shall be in that room and they shall hold
a wake and say lovely and kind things about me until they run out
and then they shall divide amongst themselves, by lot, my wonderful
collection.

I shall be hovering over that very spot until this is done.
___________ shall then quit this spot and close the door leaving
the car, the house and all the stocks and bonds and other worldly
trivialities to those who don't understand.

This is my wish in the matter.

Signed __________________________
Date ______________