seen on the road

[anotheranon]

I've found myself driving on the Beltway far more often than usual lately. The traffic still sucks, the a/c in my car still doesn't work, but at least the roadside signage is amusing. A small sampling of what I've seen lately:

Heightened Security: Report Suspicious Activity: seen on the digital displays over the freeway on July 4 weekend. We see these time to time, even when the official alert level hasn't changed. I still haven't sorted out what "suspicious activity" on the Beltway would be - apart from knowing I should probably speed up if I see an unattended backpack with wires hanging out of it, I'm not sure what I should be looking for. Can I just report idiot drivers?

Go Torps!: Spelled out by strategically sticking Dixie cups in the gaps of a chain link fence on an overpass. It's a sure thing that it refers to the Terps, the local university football team, but really - how big of a fan can you be if you can't even get the spelling right? (And what kind of mascot is a turtle, anyway? I've always found bulldogs to be far more appropriate, though I give less than a rat's ass about college sports ;) )

Speed Limit Enforced by Aircraft: I still haven't sorted out just how they plan to stop someone speeding from the air. Do they have those nifty new cameras that can read your licence tags from 100s of feet in the air, at the wrong angle? Do the authorities simply land a 747 on anyone going over 65 MPH? The latter is startling enough that I don't speed....

Comments

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

As far as the speed limit enforced by air, my understanding of how it works is that they clock people from the air by seeing how quickly they go from one marker to another. They then radio the descriptions (and maybe the license, if they can see it) to cops on the ground who pull you over.

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

I suppose that does make sense, but the mental image of the 747 still amuses me ;)

[jlsjlsjls.livejournal.com]

Simplest approach would be to lower a grapple, grab your car right off the highway, and drop it in the nearest wrecking yard (or deep lake, depending on their mood ***grin***). But people would raise a fuss about the fates of any innocent passengers, I suppose. ;-)

Actually...

[madbodger.livejournal.com]

Not with the likely. Most police helicopters are flyweights, and couldn't even lift a Toyota. In fact, they weigh even less than a Toyota.

Years ago, when I still drew comics, I had a scene where the protagonist passes one of those signs, driving the same big hulking Detroit gas guzzler I drove at the time (this was the late 1970s). Our hero threw a grappling hook up, grabbed the 'copter by the runners, and floored it, dragging the ruined 'copter, bumping and banging, down the highway. Aside from the being able to hook a helicopter by hand, that scene did at least obey the laws of physics.

Re: Actually...

[jlsjlsjls.livejournal.com]

"Not with the likely. Most police helicopters are flyweights, and couldn't even lift a Toyota. In fact, they weigh even less than a Toyota.

LOL ... oh I know, 'twas just a bit of silliness to go with the squashing by 747. I worked for 20 years in a college that included a law enforcement program and that's the kind of thing that some of our ex-RCMP instructors fantasized about ***grin***

[geekchick]

Go Torps!

Bwahahaha! D'oh. Maybe some non-Terps fans came along afterwards and rearranged the cups? I'm trying to be charitable here. ;)

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

Then why didn't they re-arrange the cups for their own team? I suppose there were enough cups to make "torps" into "dogs", I guess? :P