you must choose

rm's posting of a stark reminder that no one will ever be able to read EVERYTHING, ever is a refreshing but harsh reminder that if I plan to get anything long-term done, I need to start picking and choosing.

I'm chronically indecisive because selecting one thing inevitably locks out another due to limited time/brain space. I still kid myself that if I flit from one short-term project to another I'll get to everything but it's simply not the case and also hinders going in depth on anything.

Case in point: sewing and costume research. I dutifully finish one project or book before starting another but the long narrative eludes me. I could possibly make some really interesting discoveries/experiments WRT Fortuny gown construction but it's hard to resist the allure of Regency, cool Japanese-style French patterns, etc.

I manage to acknowledge that my fencing due to the endless improvement is a long-term project of sorts, and after much fighting the inevitable I've resigned myself to only being able to grok one weapon system at a time. It's not one that lends itself to long-term goals - it seems that the standard measures of accomplishment like medals and ratings will be due to luck or a simple good day and can't happen on a timetable.

No real solutions here, just musing aloud that if I ever want to "make my mark" with anything I'm going to have to exclude some related but equally tempting possibilities. I'm not even sure why I want to make a mark of any kind. Maybe it's that I'm closing in on 40, maybe it's that I'd like prove to myself that I can adopt a course of study and see it through to an obvious end.