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two things
Apr. 3rd, 2011 10:50 pm1) It's embarrassing how crap my stamina is even after 10 years of fencing. Not sure how I got away with it this long but it may have something to do with resisting despair and setting things up just requires more deliberation, more time. Today I watched myself start a couple of bouts really intelligently and then tank them by rushing into actions because I just COULDN'T keep dancing for 3 solid minutes.
Working on it, but the learning curve is steep and the air feels a lot thinner [pant pant]
2) I "watched myself" because I still find it incredibly difficult to get into the intuitive "flow" where my forebrain isn't getting in my muscle memory's way. This isn't just a problem in fencing - letting go of my ingrained hypervigilance/overthinking makes me feel uncomfortably not in control so it's hard for me to just enjoy the moment. Yeah, meditation, I know.
Working on it, but the learning curve is steep and the air feels a lot thinner [pant pant]
2) I "watched myself" because I still find it incredibly difficult to get into the intuitive "flow" where my forebrain isn't getting in my muscle memory's way. This isn't just a problem in fencing - letting go of my ingrained hypervigilance/overthinking makes me feel uncomfortably not in control so it's hard for me to just enjoy the moment. Yeah, meditation, I know.
