I'm working my way down the infinite book stack. I'm finally delving into
Alternative femininities: body, age and identity, an academic look at tattooed women, post-teen goths, and other women with non-traditional styles who plan to maintain them past college age. It starts with a description of who (the appendix lists details of all interviewees) and why (how do older women navigate subculture?), followed by a chapter defining a common understanding of mainstream femininity.
Just as I start this I run into
Painted Ladies: on tats and trashiness a decidedly less academic source but I'm pleased that it criticizes the notion that Nice Girls Don't.
Both stick in my mind as though I don't have tattoos, I do have body piercings that according to mainstream notions aren't only questionable to begin with, but that I've hung onto long past their sell-by date (and plan to keep doing so). I originally got them in my twenties during a time I was getting pressure from family and peers to look a certain way, as a way of marking my body as
mine. I also hoped they'd serve as a kind of filter to avoid judgmental lovers - I figured that if someone was going to pearl-clutch at the sight of my steel then maybe they didn't need to be seeing me naked :P
In other words, I didn't do it for the pretty :P
I guess it's just bewildering to me that it's news to some people that not all women want to look the same, or please anyone but themselves with their body adornment.