National Coming Out Day
Oct. 11th, 2013 02:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anotheranonSame day every year, still as true as it was ~20 years ago when I first groked this about myself - I'm bisexual.
I'm still not very out. A few friends know; this past year I told my immediate family and even a co worker. It went well-ish: the co worker suspected anyway; the family was angry because I hadn't told them before (of course, they scoffed at my fear and made it all about them, but that's a rant for another post).
These may seem peewee steps to many of my friends that have been out comfortably for years, but to me they are huge. Intellectually I know that twenty years have passed since I was in the conservative suburb where being out presented real physical risk, but my gut still says it's stupid. It's not just for my physical safety either, it's fear of rejection and job loss. Being out to everyone is for people who are stronger than I am.
I have resolved to be honest whenever the subject comes up, but it almost never does. The assumption that everyone is straight still prevails, perhaps even more so when you're an old married lady.
So there it is.
I'm still not very out. A few friends know; this past year I told my immediate family and even a co worker. It went well-ish: the co worker suspected anyway; the family was angry because I hadn't told them before (of course, they scoffed at my fear and made it all about them, but that's a rant for another post).
These may seem peewee steps to many of my friends that have been out comfortably for years, but to me they are huge. Intellectually I know that twenty years have passed since I was in the conservative suburb where being out presented real physical risk, but my gut still says it's stupid. It's not just for my physical safety either, it's fear of rejection and job loss. Being out to everyone is for people who are stronger than I am.
I have resolved to be honest whenever the subject comes up, but it almost never does. The assumption that everyone is straight still prevails, perhaps even more so when you're an old married lady.
So there it is.
