Frustrating day. Boss nags - every 10 minutes - when are we going to start filming? When are we going to start filming? (our current project is filming/editing an instructional video to be streamed online). Keeps bugging us to film SOMETHING, however crappy, even though we all know that if it's not what he sees in his mind's eye that we'll have wasted lots of time and film on an already extremely short schedule.
I decided at some point that I've voiced my reservations, and that's all I can do - ultimately he's the one in charge of this project and if it goes wrong, I told him so - hey, I was just following orders. I refuse to let this get to me, life's too short.
Having said this, it's going to be a very long week.
Still, all in all, I enjoy my job and am fully aware that in this market I'm lucky to have one.
It does drill at my mind a bit, though - do I really want to do this as a career? I enjoy it and am challenged by it, but I do not live and breathe it. I really do leave work at work and keep my free time for other things - which is healthy but does the fact that I'm not totally engrossed in it mean that I've yet to find my calling?
Aggh..maybe, maybe not. I am more enamored about the reality of keeping myself financially independent than the concept of "having a career" that earns tons of $, power, and prestige. I guess I just don't have the killer instinct; I am perfectly fine with the idea that I'm not going to set the world on fire, cure cancer, run my own business, etc. But then I've never bought the idea of your job being your whole identity.
What I really love is sewing and costume design but I decided some time ago that I want to keep that a hobby, so it will never be ruined by the business realities of deadlines, compromise, marketabilty, etc.
Just thinking I guess. Sometimes I think that by my late 20's I SHOULD be more ambitious, and I suppose I am. My ambitions just happen to be geared more towards my non-work life.
