anotheranon: (bi)
[personal profile] anotheranon
Same day every year, still as true as it was ~20 years ago when I first groked this about myself - I'm bisexual.

I'm still not very out. A few friends know; this past year I told my immediate family and even a co worker. It went well-ish: the co worker suspected anyway; the family was angry because I hadn't told them before (of course, they scoffed at my fear and made it all about them, but that's a rant for another post).

These may seem peewee steps to many of my friends that have been out comfortably for years, but to me they are huge. Intellectually I know that twenty years have passed since I was in the conservative suburb where being out presented real physical risk, but my gut still says it's stupid. It's not just for my physical safety either, it's fear of rejection and job loss. Being out to everyone is for people who are stronger than I am.

I have resolved to be honest whenever the subject comes up, but it almost never does. The assumption that everyone is straight still prevails, perhaps even more so when you're an old married lady.

So there it is.

Date: 2013-10-17 12:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I think those are tremendous steps you've taken. Any degree of out is not an easy thing to do, and your personal and emotional safety and comfort are important factors (and the gut is often smarter than the brain when it comes to those things). Strength isn't about having no insecurities, it's about having them and mustering self to do stuff anyway. By that ruler you're strong to have done what you have done ... it's far more than many people ever manage.

P.S. Re the subject rarely coming up ... it's when you're resolved to be honest that you notice that it's only on TV that people are continually talking about their sex lives/preferences to anyone and everyone ***GRIN***

Date: 2013-10-18 11:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
In my case, my gut is NOT smart - anxiety means that I can't trust it much at all. Paradoxically, it means I am either overcautious because I give in to the anxiety or take foolish risks because I rationalize that whatever red flags are going up are just the anxiety.

And yes - the vast majority of people don't want to discuss their sex lives in detail. Which, thank goodness that we spare each other the TMI but it means that so much is taken for granted...

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