anotheranon: (eggman)
[personal profile] anotheranon
Today I went to the local SCA University.

It was the first time I've been to an SCA event in... I'm not sure how long. I always make time for local universities though, because the training and conversation is always the best.

And I was not disappointed. I attended interesting classes on Hispano-Flemish clothing (the bit on headwear was VERY helpful) fencing psychology (remarkably informative for my sport game as well), Elizabethan bags (more evidence I should learn to work with leather) and German tailor's books (elegant, logical patterns with Eastern European twists).

But... as a social event I was disappointed with myself.

I didn't plan adequately: I didn't get enough sleep, I got there late with no feast gear and hence, no water, so by the end of the day I was almost nodding off.

I did make the effort to talk to all 3 of the people I knew there, and chat a bit with the one person I was introduced to, but... goddamn, I still find talking to new people to be difficult! One of the main reasons I love the internet is that communicating with people online first provides me with context about them and pretext to approach them, so it's less intimidating. However, I'm not involved enough in my local SCA email lists so I didn't have this background to work with.

I also feel like I have nothing to contribute. The SCA community thrives on participation, and I don't have anything new to say, nothing I know well enough to teach, and am not "embedded" enough to help out logistically.

As such, I feel like I had no impact on anyone, and am again the one who made no impression, for good or ill.

The one thing I can do is fence: it's a pretext for being social and I can be of use by being an opponent. I didn't today because I was just too wiped by the time pick-ups started.

An interesting observation I'm not attaching any judgment to is that while I was excited about all the garb ideas I got today, I don't have an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy for not having ALL THE THINGS nor have the painful urge to make up for it RIGHT NOW.

For next SCA event: have enough rest and water so I can fence, and make sure it's an event with fencing because my enjoyment socially hinges on my ability to do something. I'm a fighter, not a talker (at least not with new people), so I should play to that.
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